Something Real
by SophiaCrutchfeild
Summary: Songfic. You didn't really think Anna was going to go off to heaven and actually STAY THERE like a good girl, did you?


Author's Note- Did you honesty think ANNA KORLOV of all people would be happy in a fake world? ANNA, the girl who is PURE, and RAW, and REAL? Well, I highly doubt that. If we're being honest here, I think she would hate it. This is how I think she would feel.

Thought I knew what I wanted, till I got it.

I used to… I can't remember much about my past, to be perfectly honest. This kills me. Kills me… she killed… ugh, never mind, I forgot what I was going to say.

My life is perfect. Cassio is there for me, and we see Carmel and Thomas sometimes. I have freedom to do almost anything I want. Oh, yes, certainly, a wonderful life.

Note the sarcasm.

Turned around, now the pressure's on in the moment.

It feels wrong, screwy, messed up. It feels like they're always acting around me, almost like… sorry, what was I saying? Forget it. This whole situation is so… oh my goodness, why can't I remember anything I say?

I was chasing a fairytale, till I caught it.

And, here's Cassio, my prince charming. Handsome, kind to everyone, intelligent, gentle… remind me why I fell for someone with no distinguishable flaws? Not even a scar… not even a knife… what was I saying? Stupid memory.

Took a leap of faith, now I'm back where I started.

Nothing changes. Nothing. Not even our ages. It doesn't matter what I do, I always end up right back at my house. I always wanted to escape that house, didn't I… maybe not. I forget. I don't like this sometimes. I miss Cassio. Wait, why did I say that? Cassio is sitting right next to me!

This perfect life somehow doesn't really feel right, I learned tonight…

"Want to go down to the river?" he asks.

"No," I reply.

"The café?"

"Not really."

"What do you want to do?"

"Feel something."

I'd trade it all for something real, something that's raw, something that I can feel!

"I want to bleed when I fall, and I want to cry and scream and get angry, and… I miss the penguins."

"What penguins?"

"The ones who you said did bridge construction. Remember?"

"Err… no."

This confuses me. I remember very clearly. He said something about dreaming of zombies after watching a scary movie, and I asked him if that was what he dreamed about, and I called him…

"Is that what you dream about, boy who kills the dead?"

Wait, what?!

Flaws and all, now here's the deal: I don't want anything unless it's something real.

"Do we have any knives in the house?" I ask Cassio.

"Nope," he says cheerfully.

"Why the hell do we not have any knives in the entire house? We have just bout everything else! For Pete's sake, I'm Anna Dressed in Blood and I don't even have a freaking knife!"

"You're… excuse me? Anna, your dress is white. You aren't bleeding," Cassio- no, not-Cassio says.

"I. Am. Anna. Dressed. In. Blood," I say slowly, trying with all my willpower to hold on to the title that popped into my head.

I used to get so caught up, finding all the answers, always playing it smart…

Me, age sixteen, quiet, tormented, afraid to make a false move… Listening to my mother, no matter how much I wanted to break free, dreaming and wishing, but never, not once, acting. Hardly a single friend, a boyfriend who I tried to keep secret from my mother, who I liked well enough, but didn't love…

…never taking chances.

Maria and I making that dress, me coming downstairs, trying to run away… getting brutally murdered… my mother cursing my dress… killing… killing… killing, until I barely existed under the surface of the monster.

Had to see for myself, to believe in magic.

And then I met Cassio, and I didn't have to kill him and he lifted my curse… and we fell in love… until I had to leave…

I start crying.

Now I know inside my heart, I already had it all.

I'm shaking with tears as I remember my time in Hell, being tortured, and Cassio, wild, imperfect Cassio, almost dying attempting to get me out… and what did I do?

I left him.

This perfect life is an imperfect puzzle sometimes. I learned tonight…

It wasn't my choice. Not really. I didn't know I was making a choice. If only I had one…

I'd trade it all for something real, something that's raw, something that I can feel!

"What's going on, Anna?" asks the pretend Cassio. "Have I done something?"

"If you had done something, do you think I would be crying? No way! If you had done something, that would mean you were really the guy I fell for, and not just a bit of my perfect heaven landscape! But you never make a mistake; you don't even have the scars from when I was mad at you that time and… what was it you said? Oh yeah, 'played handball' with you. You don't even carry the athame anymore, and that knife was practically like your dog! You… you're not even aware of the fact that you once tried to kill me, back when I was dead."

Flaws and all, now here's the deal: I don't want anything unless it's something real.

"I don't think you're well Anna, perhaps you should lie-"

"Lie? No, no, no. No more lies. I'm not alive anymore, I wasn't alive when I met Cassio, and I have not been alive for over half a century. I don't want this 'life' anymore! I want to feel alive, even if I have to be dead to do that!" Pretend Cassio looks alarmed. I glare at him. I can remember now, and I refuse to forget so easily.

"-down," he finishes. "Lie down."

I glare at him.

All along I was posing for the cameras, focused on a dream world, dreaming about a sandman.

"I won't lie down," I say clearly. "I want to see Theseus Cassio Lowood. NOW."

The world around me shimmers, and fades. It all goes dark for several minutes, and then suddenly, I see a light.

Now I'm awake and life is so much better.

I see a man, now maybe nineteen, with dark eyes, attacking a ghost with entrails spilling out and chainsaws for hands.

"Cassio?" I ask, almost a whisper. He doesn't hear, and he kills the ghost. It explodes into piles of gore. A bit of him hits me, but my dress is already so drenched in blood, it hardly matters. "Cassio," I say, a bit louder.

He spins around, knife pointed at me, and freezes. His eyes flash with… something.

"Prove that you're you," he says.

"What?" I don't get it.

"Prove that you're Anna!" he snarls as he brandishes his knife.

I say the first thing that pops into my head. "You sometimes dream about penguins doing bridge construction!"

He seems taken aback. "What?"

"You told me," I say shakily, "That you dream of penguins doing bridge construction."

"That's what you're going with?"

"Yeah," I say. "Think about it. We were alone. I certainly never told anyone. I doubt you did. So if that doesn't prove it's me-"

And he's kissing me.

Let's go crazy now all of us together!

He holds me.

"How is this even possible? You're Anna Dressed in Blood again. And you're here. With me," he asks.

"Heaven is overrated," I tell him.

Let's get real, let's get real, let's get real!

"It was actually the lack of knives in the house that clued me in eventually. Also, no replica Cassio will ever match up to the original," I explain. "I don't want perfection, I just want you."

I traded it all for something real, something that's raw, something that I can feel!

"I need you to prove that you're Cassio, now," I say. "I don't want a heavenly upgrade either."

"I came into your house the first time and was hit over the head with a floorboard, so you kind of went into overprotective-girlfriend-mode and ripped the guy who did it in half, literally?" he offers.

Yep, it's Cassio. Heaven can't get that wry sarcasm; that's pure Cassio.

Flaws and all, now here's the deal: I don't want anything unless it's something real!

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," I say. "And this is definitely real."


End file.
